Messages...

So I downloaded all my pictures from my phone to the computer and now I will try and catch up slowly and record our year so far in pictures.

This is from January on the girls first day back to school after Christmas Break.  I always drive them to the neighborhood bus stop and then take Cuatro on to pre-k.  On this day, it was cold and dreary and the kids had been playing with their friends before the bus came. I had been busy talking to the other parents and had not noticed what Laura was doing until I hopped back in the car. This is what I saw:

If you can't see it the mirror says, "I love you" with a big heart.  I was a little taken back because the only story I allowed myself to see on Sandy Hook was of Lynn McDonnell's interview with Anderson Cooper about her daughter Grace. She said Grace was known for leaving messages on the family's bathroom window and how she saw the remnants of her daughter's last message on the mirror the day after she was killed. I told this story to my mom when I was home for Christmas and couldn't retell it without tears. I took a picture because I wanted to remember Laura's innocence, my thankfulness for her, the blessing of the time I have with all of my children, and the realization that life can change in seconds. We serve a sovereign God but we live in a fallen world where tragedies happen. The verse I recited to myself when I saw all the sadness unfold in Connecticut was, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness"--Lamentations 3:22-23

Thank you to all my "moms"

I read a blog post recently where a woman my age recounted and thanked all the women who shaped her spiritually. These women came along side her own mom and added something unique and special to her life. And that got me thinking to all the women who have come into my life to do the same. I think first of my Mimi. She was my mom's mom and some of my earliest memories are of her dining room table filled with a Bible, commentaries, and so many notes from her various studies. I remember saying goodbye to her as she got on a bus every summer taking underpriviledged kids to a Christian camp many hours away. I remember her prayers every night before dinner. I long to hear her alto voice once more sing the old hymns we sang when we visited her church. Her life radiated so much love for her Saviour that it was poured out onto all of her grandkids. And then I think of Mrs. Coppin. She is one of my mom's oldest friend's. She showed me the gift of hospitality. She was always so cheerful and so willing to teach us lessons about God through stories and hands on experience. I never saw her cross or angry. She had five kids of her own but treated each one of us like we were the most special person in her house that day. I also recall Mrs Gordon who gave me so much advice and quietly served our high school youth group with enthusiasm and grace. She showed me how important it is to serve the church and find the "least of these" and serve them faithfully. Then there are women who taught me how to be a mom as I was learning seven years ago that this was harder than I thought. There were my own sisters who showed me how to bring God into life's simple lessons. They came along side me to help when I was drowning. And they faithfully prayed for me when life was just too hard. There was also Elizabeth Erhart and Deanna Sanders who taught me the joy of cooking for my family and the art of decorating my home to make it inviting for others. The memories I have of the three of us in the Erhart kitchen while all the babies played will forever be a precious one. There is also Jamie B. who led our women's Bible Study when I moved back to Texas. She prayed for each one of us faithfully and God so clearly spoke to my weary heart as I was in the midst of pregnancy (after pregnancy) and todlerhood. She prayed over me and cried with me and still does. There is also my dear friends Lori and Leanne who took in children not their own and constantly remind me of the love Christ had for us while we were yet sinners. They are my prayer warriors and confidants and they are the women shaping my children's spiritual lives right now. And finally, there is my own mother who has faithfully prayed for me for the last 33 years. She led me to Christ and that alone is enough but she amazes me with all she takes on and accomplishes so well. And these aren't fundraisers or the like that she busies herself with. She takes on people and ministries that further the gospel of Christ. I will never forget her repeating to me over and over when Joe was deployed and I was pregnant with the girls, "God is good and whether Joe comes home or not, He is still good." The women above are all so special to me and I am so indebted to them for showing me the love of a wonderful Saviour. I am indeed blessed. Happy Mother's Day!!

Real Life, Part 2

This is a humbling post to write. I get embarrassed very easily. When we entertain, I kill myself to have a very clean home. I do like a clean house for a party but when I am having a close friend over to just visit, I still make sure everything is super tidy. It might mean that things are thrown in a closet or laundry room so that the house "appears" to be clean. Why? Do I think my best friends will think less of me if there is something out of place? No. Would I think less of them in a similar situation at their house?. No. So why do I stress? It's a pride issue that I am very aware of and working on.
I do believe that I am more drawn to people who are genuine and real. They share their struggles and concerns and don't get caught up in "appearances". They worry less about a messy house and more about helping others. These are the people I call my close friends. I hope I am the same kind of friend to them but there are times where I get so caught up in making it look like we have it all together. I have been so convicted that I am doing a disservice to my friends when I do this. I need to focus more on the ministry I have to my children, family, and friends and less on the material things. So here are the pictures I took a couple weeks ago. This is my house on a typical day. It is a coming out of sorts that my house is not always clean. It is never organized. It is REAL!! I have four children and not much energy to keep everything clean ALL the time. It is what it is:

Encouragement

Yesterday I was loading all four kids into the car after a church workday gone wrong with one of my kids. Two children were crying and the other two were complaining of thirst and wanted water RIGHT NOW. I was loading the stroller and didn't see that someone had been watching all of the chaos as she worked in a garden bed next to my car. That sweet lady came over and kissed my cheek and said, "You're a good mom, hang in there." And then she walked away. She didn't offer advice, she didn't try to correct my kids. She just loved me with her words. I know her and I know she has all grown kids now. She's been there. She knows that some days are so hard. She knows that there are not alot of "thank-you's" or "please, may I have's...". She JUST KNOWS and she chose to give the sweetest gift of her words. What a testimony of a Titus 2 woman to give encouragement to the younger generation in the thick of motherhood. So thank you, Mrs. Wilson. You made my day.

Being Real with a list of what I DON'T do...

I was inspired by a friend to do a couple of posts that show my "real" life. For my first post on this topic I will share what I do not do...hold on to your hats, folks, and try not to judge:

1. I don't make my own baby food and put it into ice cube trays. I never have...I had twins first, remember?? Yes, they ate jar food and they are just fine, thank you.

2. I don't do a load of laundry everyday. I sometimes don't get around to laundry for three days.

3. I don't remember to make my kids wash their hands all the time. I forget and usually remind them when the mom with the one child reminds her precious one.

4. I don't make a homemade meal everyday. I use frozen things. And again, my kids are just fine, thank you.

5. I don't serve all organic, gluten-free food in my house. That is all I'm saying about that since I don't want to start a fire-storm. Again, my kids are just fine, thank you.

6. I don't say no to TV. Sometimes it's about survival people.

7. I don't iron all of our clothes when they come out of the dryer. I don't have a designated ironing day either. I iron as needed.

8. I don't make my children's birthday cakes. I tried once and it looked like poop (it was a brown rattlesnake, so literally, poop). I buy the cakes now, it tastes better and looks better. Here is the first and last birthday cake I ever made:


9. I don't sew my own curtains or make my children's clothing. I tried a few times and it simply isn't one of my gifts.

10. I don't always take a shower everyday. We are being real, right? Sometimes it just doesn't happen especially when more than one child is sick.

DISCLAIMER: I don't think any less of you if you actually DO the above things. I actually think that is wonderful. Good for you---pat on the back. Feel free to feel better about yourself:) It's okay.

Funny Pictures

When I was pregnant with each of my children, I prayed that each one of them would love the Lord more than anything AND that they would have a personality. We are working on the first request daily but the second request has been answered beyond what we ever hoped for!!

Pictures that define motherhood

We are that Family is doing a giveaway and asking for pictures that define motherhood. I chose this one for many reasons. Truth is, my brother took this picture when our youngest was born. I was trying to bribe my two year old with goldfish so he would sit still in the photoshoot with his big brother t-shirt on. But, as all two-year-olds typically do, he spilled all the snack on the floor. And I bent down to help him automatically. Don't we as mothers just automatically do most things? We automatically jump out of bed at 3 in the morning when we hear crying. We automatically get up every morning to prepare milk and breakfast before the coffee is brewed. We automatically and instinctively jump when we hear THAT cry that makes you cringe. We just do it---whatever "it" is everyday. Because we are mom. We kiss "boo-boo's" . We comfort when there is hurt feelings. We know every milestone in our hearts, whether we write it down or not. We love unconditionally--even when they complain about a meal or a costume we have worked so hard on. We just do. What an overwhelming job it is in the daily scheme of things. But what a blessing it is to hold their tiny hands in ours. And that is why I love this picture. Because it isn't a perfect portrait. And I am doing what I do more than once a day. And because that tiny little hand is in mine and that is what defines motherhood.

This is Hard...but I wouldn't trade these days

So part of the reason I am blogging is to remember what I was doing AND feeling at this time is my life. I would like to remember God's faithfulness to me as I get through each hectic day with these four little gifts He has given. So today was a rare Saturday where there were no parties and no activities planned. Easy day, right? Wrong. With much housework and loads of laundry and three sets of eyes looking at me for some entertainment, it became overwhelming. I did the best I could and made cleaning the outside and inside of the house a game. But I got distracted with a phone call and lost Cuatro for a little bit. No dig deal, he was in the same place he always is (his granddaddy's house). The day was the same old race to get the house done and many errands to run (with only one child thanks to a very sweet husband). I was so tired at the end of the day but there was children to bathe and hair to curl and a house to prepare because the next day was the girl's last ballet recital. Grace and Laura danced their hearts out today and I was so proud of them. My heart was so full that I cried during the finale. These little girls of mine are not staying little for long and I want time to stand still right now. They are so sweet and so innocent. Life for them is carefree and fun. And I get to see this beautiful way of life through their eyes for just a moment it seems. So the days that are challenging pale in comparison to the days where I get to see my children happy and loving life. Just a glimpse of heaven to me.

Thank you God for this family you have given to me. You have been so good to me. Help me remember to not take these moments with my children lightly.