Valentine's Day 2013

I try to carry on some of the traditions my parents gave us.  Some are meaningful and some are just for fun. Every year, my mom would put together special valentine treats for all of us and set it on the counter so when we came downstairs we would see it and be surprised. I loved this special tradition and it was just enough "holiday" without the overkill.  Every year she would put out the cards each grandparent sent in addition to our "loot".  I have done this every year with the exception of the card mailed from the grandparents only because they could receive their Valentines in person. But not this year. So it was with a smile on my face that I added the cards my parent's and Michael Ann sent to each child and fondly remembered all the years my grandparents sent me a card with $5 and a sweet handwritten note.

Below are the kids in their "festive" clothes-a tradition I created when the girls started pre-K and I realized that every mom in their class bought their child a valentine shirt and I did not--big mom fail:(

We ended the day with homemade heart pizzas that each child made themselves. They were really good and so easy that I think this might become a new tradition!!

Memory Lane

Just wanted to post some old photos that Joe just loaded on my computer:

Laura at Rodeo Day in Kindergarten:

Audrey and Laura demonstrating "safety first"-2011

Audrey around Easter 2011

Cuatro's "mad" face 2011

At a junk yard in South Texas-2011

Grace at Rodeo Day-Kinder year

My life so far in phone pictures (Part 2)

Audrey ready to go to the Calder's for the Fourth of July (a tradition now)


We received a whole bunch o toys from some people in our church and one of them was this little shopping cart that Audrey deemed her own set of "wheels"


Cheer Camp for Grace and Laura!!



We gutted the kitchen at the beginning of the summer




It RAINED on the way home from Sea World one Sunday...Texas is in a drought and there were people dancing in the rain when we stopped to get milk on the way home



Audrey's first recorded pigtails (I love pigtails on little girls almost as much as I love BIG bows on little girls)

My life so far in phone pictures (Part 1)

So my camera battery died in June and apparently it is next to impossible to get another one without ordering off the Internet. So while I am waiting for this essential to come it, I have been relying on my camera phone. So here is what we have been up to in pictures:


We went to Kiddie Park for Cuatro's Preschool "End of the Year Field Trip" and Audrey loved the carousel (She screamed every time I took her off)

Cuatro and Carson at Kiddie Park (I did not tell them to hold hands)

My sisters and I had a garage sale and Audrey and Grayson tried out the merchandise

Let this cup pass...

My sister and I have so many honest conversations especially when we drive together somewhere. With all the chaos and noise coming from 4-5 small children in the back of the car, we end up pouring our hearts out about our walk with God, about life with young children, about anything!
The other day we were driving back from seeing an old friend whose mother had just passed away. It was a hard trip to make and there was so much on our minds on the way back into town. We had many worthy conversations but the one I am thinking about tonight is one I am still processing:

We were talking about the death of a believer and what absolute peace we have about dying. We know where we are going and that is comforting BUT can we apply that peace and trust in God's sovereignty to the death of our children? Sure, take my parents, my siblings, even my husband--but God, don't touch my children. I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't want to. Could you just let that cup pass from me? I can grow closer to You through OTHER trials and give you glory, okay? Just don't take my children--they are OFF LIMITS.

Now please do not get me wrong, I love my parents, my siblings, and my husband. But they are grown and have a relationship with God. They have lived, well, life. I would be incredibly sad to lose them on this earth. My world would be turned upside down to lose Joe. But I gave birth to these four beautiful children. I have wiped every tear, I have kissed every boo-boo, my heart goes wherever they go. They are the loves of my life. So I struggle with seeing children die even when their parent's prayed for that disease, that injury, that condition to not be the end. I have been to a baby's funeral and in the days leading up to her death, I remember having my own baby growing inside me and crying, "Why God? Why this?" . But her parent's walked through that fire and are a testament to God's unfailing love and faithfulness. They didn't curl up in a ball and stop living. They put one foot in front of the other and lived one day at a time. And four years later, they honor her on her birthday every year and remember her passing from life every year.

And Whitney and I ended our conversation with the intent to pray that we can REALLY give ALL of ourselves to God. It's not enough to say that sure, God, we love you and we will live for you. We have to live it. We have to intently seek out those areas in our lives that we are holding on to. Most people identify these holdovers as indiscretions in their life--bad habits, bad friends, bad, bad, bad. But what I hold so tightly to is the incredible blessings He gave in the form of four beautiful souls. What I forget is that He knows every story about them. He knows their every tear. He knows about every hurt that they have ever endured and He loves my children more than I ever could, ever would. He is a loving God that has been faithful to me my whole life and He will be the same God whether I have a child here on earth with me or away from me (for a brief time) in heaven with Jesus.

And then I had another thought, I have been so focused on ME when I struggle with this fear. I find it funny that it bothers me less that I am not worried about my walk, my sincerity with HIM. Does holding onto my children so tightly hinder my relationship with my Saviour? And so I went to Scripture and saw the answer in the following verses:

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

---Matthew 10:37-39

"Not worthy of me"?---Oh Lord, may I take up my cross and follow you so completely that I might be worthy of You. May the focus of my walk be about You and not You based on me.